De-icing the plane

I flew home from Denver this morning and a sudden drop in temperatures required them to de-ice the plane before we took off from the airport.

Now here's the thing. Who came up with a term like "de-ice"? Leave it to those darn airline folks to find weird ways to say things. I mean they ask us to "de-plane" when they could just say "leave".  Isn't de-icing just warming up the plane? It looked to me like they sprayed us down with a load of anti-freeze before we took off.  What happens to that stuff when we hit the atmosphere? Does the anti-freeze stick to the plane? Why don't they just install heaters that can heat up the wings and keep the ice from forming? If they can hook up propane heaters to double-wides there must be somethin' similar for airplanes. And who decided that a tiny bag of peanuts qualifies as a snack?

And while we're at it, we had some great food in Denver. Last night we had something called "Jonah Crab". We were in the middle of the country with no body of water anywhere in sight - so where does the crab come from? And what did Jonah have to do with it?  Were these crabs caught in the belly of whales?

And finally, how come everyone thinks all southerners come from Texas? That state must have some dang good PR firm working for it. 'Cause everybody thinks we all got birthed right there in that one state. Or maybe they're hoping that Texas has some kind of a fenced in camp where they can keep us rednecks safely away from the smart people.  Not sure. 

This is the danger of letting us rednecks out in public. We started wonderin' about stuff. That's just dangerous.